How Much Fail Can One Person Have?

Ladies and Gentlemen, behold, the King Kong of Fail

Geronimo Narciso, 37, was drinking with friends inside the compound of Tagumpay Lumber and Construction Supply when he brought out his gun and fired it twice downwards, Senior Inspector Ryan Manongdo, Pangasinan police spokesman, said.

His drinking buddies, Arnel Nacino and Edwin Alcera, asked him to stop firing his homemade gun, Manongdo said.

Narciso heeded their request and was tucking his gun to his waist when it went off, hitting his genitals.
His friends rushed him to Dr. Chan Memorial Hospital in Carmen town but was declared dead on arrival.

Drunk + Homemade gun + Showing said gun off to friends = One very, very painful way to die.

Spend your money on nothing and the derp’s for free.

Or, derp sells, but who’s buying? 

See this class? This is just the kind of firearms training you don’t want to take.

  • Small 30 Person Classes
  • Real Training Against Real Opposition
  • Taught By An SOF Operator

“Small 30 person classes”?! 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. I’ve taken one class that had 30 people in it with 4 instructors, and quite frankly, it wasn’t worth my time. 

And then there’s this

Screen shot 2014-03-02 at 8.58.58 PM

Double the lethality? Isn’t that called a double-tap?

Yeah… Thanks, but no thanks.

If you want to pay $500 bucks to spend two days re-enacting the battle of Fallujah, go ahead, there are worse ways to spend your time and money. Just don’t call it firearms training.

Look, I’m sure the operator who’s teaching this class served with honor doing stuff I don’t ever, ever want to (or could) do, but don’t confuse what you’ll be doing with the type of firearms training that’s actually useful for living a civilian in America. Spend it on pistol classes that work for you, not for Seal Team Six.

Five Things I’d Change about Česká zbrojovka Uherský Brod

CZ's are hipster gunsOr CZ, as some call it. 

I like Ron’s idea: What five things would you change about your favorite gun company. George Hill’s already talked about Sig, Ron’s talked about Smith and Wesson, and I’ve been tasked with talking about CZ. 

I wonder why…

I’m just going to talk about their pistols, because a) that’s what George and Ron mostly talked about and b) I kinda like what CZ is doing with their shotguns and rifle lines right now.  
Ok, so what five things would I change about CZ-UB/CZ-USA? 

1. Get into the concealed carry market in the U.S. in a serious way 
Czech citizens can get a permit to carry a firearm for personal defense MUCH easier than most of their European cousins, so you’d think that CZ would catch on to the idea that American civilians buy more guns than American policemen do. 
And you’d be wrong. Their are two problems with carrying a CZ concealed: Width and weight. The width is because of their unique slide design and a wide CCW gun is an awkward CCW gun. The weight is because CZ likes big metal guns. I like big metal guns too, but they weigh more that plastic does, and even CZ’s polymer P07 weighs a third of a pound more than a Glock 19. A stack and a half polymer gun that holds about 9+1 rounds and is under an inch wide would fill this niche nicely.

2. Support the P07 with more aftermarket parts
I don’t have much of a problem with the P07′s 8+ pound double action trigger pull, but I’d LOVE to have factory parts to take that down a pound or more, along with more of the wiz-bang features that M+P and Glock owners have gotten used to. Speaking of which…

3. Realize there are other practical pistol sports besides IPSC and USPSA. 
I shoot my P07 in IDPA, and it’s kinda like being the turd in the punchbowl in the world of CZ competition shooters. CZ was a sponsor of the IDPA Nationals and there are Dan Wesson 1911′s that are great for IDPA CDP and 3 Gun, but a little ESP love for IDPA would be muchly appreciated.

4. Work on reliability
This is your Achilles Heel. Whatever it takes, be it Six Sigma or whatever processes there are out there (Ron’s the procurement guy, I do marketing…), do it, even if it means another $25-$50 per gun. Realize that reliability in an IPSC match and passing a 2000 round challenge are two different things.

5. Get the word out. 
Look, you’re not going to match the marketing budget of the big guys, so get smart about things. Leverage social media and new media like your company’s life depends on it. Make Hickok45 your new best friend. Give away a gun at Gunblogger Rendezvous. Give a CZ75 Compact SDM to Todd Green to test next year: He hates CZ’s, make him eat his words.*
Your goal should be to get people talking about your guns in the context of something other than USPSA/IPSC, but still sponsor at least one stage and/or Division at the World Shoot this year to stay true to your roots.
Realize your competition in the U.S. is Sig, not Glock. Go for the high end, the luxury brand image. Become the BMW to Sig’s Mercedes, because you’re not going to beat Ruger on innovation, Glock on ubiquity, Smith and Wesson on “Not Glock” or any of those three on price. If Taurus can re-shape their image by hiring a top-notch competitor as a spokesperson, re-brand your image as well. Why not hire Travis Haley or Larry Vickers to talk about how so many cops and anti-terrorism teams around the world trust their lives to CZ’s. 

 

* Notice that I held back from saying “And give free guns to bloggers who talk about CZ all the time?” That’s because being more self-restrained was one of this year’s New Year’s Resolutions. But hey, free guns are ALWAYS welcome here! 

Why not call it Tauptical and leave it at that?

I agree, calling it Flat Dark Earth is pretty silly, so here’s some other suggestions:

Berserker Buff
Iraqi Desert Sand
Steel Cut Oatmeal
Never Neutral
C-Ration Biscuit
Range Tan
Condition Yellow (Because it’s off-White. Get it?)
Coffee With Milk (Because café au lait is French)
Magic Mushroom* 

And what’s wrong with calling it plain ol’ khaki? That was the colour of the uniforms of some darn tough soldiers long before it was appropriated to describe the business casual wear of semi-effete Gen-Xer’s. 

*Only available in Colorado or where permitted by law