After all, the whole point of Jihad is to DIE for Islam…

… and it looks like ISIS picked the right place to do just that: Phoenix is on their “Kill List” of cities.

The Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) published the list days ago, a report that contained names, photos, and home addresses of U.S. Armed Forces personnel, causing alarm in cities potentially at high-risk.

According to the publication, ISIS urges followers and sympathizers in the U.S. to kill the servicemen. Specific personnel on the list are largely from the U.S. Air Force and U.S. Navy – branches of the country’s military that have conducted massive air strikes against ISIS.

I’m guessing they’ll be targeting Luke AFB, out there on the west side of Phoenix.

So they’ll have to get through the coyotes and chollos of Maryvale, through the rednecks in Glendale, and then, and only then, do they get to test their luck against Air Force security personnel at the gate.

Not to mention that the Sheriff has a tank.

Good luck with that.

I wonder if he shouted out “TWO ALPHA” after it was over…

Talk about a complete and utter failure in the victim selection process

A doctor was leaving home  to compete in a shooting competition held at Magnolia Pistol Range in Byram at approximately 7:45 AM today. He made several trips from the house to his truck carrying what he needed for the competition. Unknown to him, two black males were cruising Ridgewood Road looking for someone to rob. They happened upon him walking to his truck near the intestection Ridgewood and Eastover roads.  They took him captive at gunpoint and forced him drive to an ATM and withdraw a large amount of money

They stopped at Eastover and Pinewood.  They told him to get out of the vehicle.  The good Doc managed to grab a pistol as he exited the truck and began firing.  He shot and killed an Edwin Robinson of Cooper Road.  One person at the scene said “he shot the sh!t out of him”.

Huh. Musta been shooting Open…

The TV ad Glock needs to make, and soon.

* Slow camera pan down towards darkened city street, past sign that says "Free Speech Cartoon Contest Tonight" *

* Camera pan right to a police car, doors open, lights on *

* Pan right to pair of chalk outlines on the pavement, with a nearby AK-47 and some 7.62x39 brass casings *

* Pan up to R. Lee Ermey squatting next to the chalk outlines *

Dialogue

Looks like somebody picked the wrong place for jihad.”

Cut to Glock logo.

The police are the “only ones” qualified to carry a gun…

Number of guns I’ve left in a public restroom this year: Zero.
Number of guns the D.C. Capitol Police have left in a public restroom this year: Three (so far).

When a member of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s security detail left his Glock and magazine stuffed in the toilet seat cover holder of a Capitol Visitor Center bathroom stall, a CVC worker found the gun, according to a source familiar with the Jan. 29 incident and two other disturbing instances when Capitol Police left loaded firearms in problematic places.

A 7- or 8-year-old child visiting the Capitol with his parents found the next loaded Glock lost by a dignitary protection officer, according to the source. A member of the security detail for John A. Boehner, R-Ohio, allegedly left the firearm in the bathroom of the Speaker’s Suite on March 24.

A third Glock was found the night of April 16 by a janitor cleaning the Capitol Police headquarters building on D Street NE. The weapon was left in plain sight, sparking additional concern about the department charged with protecting one of the world’s most important and frequently visited complexes.

This country is in the very best of hands.

The Volcano Gun

220px-Joe_Versus_The_VolcanoThink of this as the opposite of the “If you had to choose only one gun to live with on a desert island” type of post. If you had to rid the world of only one gun by throwing every single one of them into a volcano to appease the angry volcano gods, what gun would it be?

I would gladly and gleefully rid the entire world of every  single Desert Eagle in existence.

I hate those guns. I don’t like them. I don’t like the people who buy them and then make ridiculous videos of their girlfriends hurting themselves while trying to shoot them. I don’t like them because they’re ugly, jam-omatics, and they come in colors and styles that make Saddam Hussein’s gold-plated AK look like the quintessence of restrained, tasteful design.

I hate Deagles.

For the good of humanity, I’d sacrifice every single one of them into a volcano, but I’m worried that the volcano gods would reject such an inferior offering and kill us all out of spite. If the volcano gods did such things, my backup plan is to offer them every single Mosin Nagant ever made, except for a few to keep as props if they ever want to do a re-make of “Enemy At The Gates“.

Now I know there are some people who will read this and say “MOLON LABE, BEATCHES!!!! NO GUNS DESTROYED EVER, cause, um, SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!!!!!!”, but look, every once in a while, we need to cull the herd. As an example, the lads on Top Gear are unequalled in their passion for cars, but even they know what to do with a stinker like the Morris Marina.

Tough love, baby, tough love.

Ok, so what other gun(s) needs to get tossed into Mauna Loa to save the planet and appease the gun gods?

As Dave Barry Might Say…

Florida Man“.

A Land O’ Lakes man faces a manslaughter charge after he allegedly tried to shoot a bucket from a man’s head — but missed, killing him.

According to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office, the whole thing started Sunday evening outside the Rock Harley Saloon in Land O’ Lakes. They say Billy Lee McDaniel was undergoing an initiation into the Southern Sons Motorcycle Club — an act that apparently involved holding a plastic bucket above his head while club members threw cups and bottles into it.

That’s when, deputies say, Jeffrey Camarda tried to shoot the bucket from McDaniel’s head, but missed and hit him in the head instead.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.