EPA Announces New Regulations Designed to Halt Invasive Washington Press Corps

The Environmental Protection Agency has rolled out extensive new regulations to stop the spread of the free press in order to stop it before it becomes a danger to the Washington, D.C. ecosphere.

“We need to look at the lifecycle of the press corps in terms of how it interacts with the other parts of the ecology here in our nation’s capitol,” said EPA Assistant Deputy Undersecretary for Political Pest Control Dee Deetee. “Clearly, right now, having a press corps that asks questions and threatens the status quo is unhealthy and unsustainable to the power structure in Washington, so every effort must be made to disrupt their hunting grounds and keep them from spreading to close to important power centers within Washington.”

Ms DeeTee stressed that these tough new controls on the press are only limited to certain areas of Washington, and that the press would be free to roam around unfettered asking questions about Marco Rubio’s boat payments and Scott Walker’s sweaters.

“It’s about balance,” she said. “Where Scott Walker buys his clothes is of equal importance to the long-term sustainability of both the EPA and Washington as a whole than such trivial matters as who killed who in Benghazi. We need to look at the bigger picture here, and what we, as the EPA, can do to prevent the spread of questions to places where they’re unwanted and un-called for.”

Reports that the IRS is underwriting the cost of this new effort remain unconfirmed at this time.

 
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July 5th, 2015 by exurbankevin

Happy 4th of July

One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands.

 
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July 4th, 2015 by exurbankevin

Only Nixon can go to China, and only a Republican can clean up military procurement.

There’s a new report out from a former F-35 test pilot, blasting the military’s latest and “greatest” jet fighter’s ability to do, well, anything.

The F-35 jockey tried to target the F-16 with the stealth jet’s 25-millimeter cannon, but the smaller F-16 easily dodged. “Instead of catching the bandit off-guard by rapidly pull aft to achieve lead, the nose rate was slow, allowing him to easily time his jink prior to a gun solution,” the JSF pilot complained.

And when the pilot of the F-16 turned the tables on the F-35, maneuvering to put the stealth plane in his own gunsight, the JSF jockey found he couldn’t maneuver out of the way, owing to a “lack of nose rate.”

The F-35 pilot came right out and said it — if you’re flying a JSF, there’s no point in trying to get into a sustained, close turning battle with another fighter. “There were not compelling reasons to fight in this region.” God help you if the enemy surprises you and you have no choice but to turn.

These results should come as no shock to anyone remotely familiar with past attempts to create a “one size fits all” fighter for America’s military. 50 years ago, Robert McNamara, John F. Kennedy’s Defense Secretary, decided to combine the Air Force’s requirement for a long-range strike aircraft with the Navy’s need for a fleet defense interceptor. The results were… less than optimal.

Excessive weight plagued the F-111B throughout its development. During the congressional hearings for the aircraft, Vice Admiral Thomas F. Connolly, then Deputy Chief of Naval Operations for Air Warfare, responded to a question from Senator John C. Stennis as to whether a more powerful engine would cure the aircraft’s woes, saying, “There isn’t enough power in all Christendom to make that airplane what we want!”

Shockingly, when you design a plane around a compromise, you get a plane that’s good at nothing and bad at everything.

This is just more one tale of woe in long string of military procurement failures that have happened in the past ten years. The Future Combat System was put out of our misery back in 2009 after the reality of Iraq and Afghanistan showed us that a heavy, well-armored combat force still had a vital role to play on today’s battlefield. The Littorral Combat Ship program has been dead in the water for years, with costs spiraling out of control and a mission that has yet to be defined. And the Army has spent decades deciding whether it wants to buy a new rifle or not, with millions of dollars of money spent on chasing an elusive dream.

Enough. It’s time to bring some sanity to how we buy weapons for our military, and only the Republicans are up to the task. Caspar Weinberger cancelled the Sgt. York anti-aircraft gun AND the RAH-66 Comanche. The fact is, the military needs some tough love, and it has to come from someone who loves the military and wants it to stay strong, not from someone who can’t pronounce the word “corpsman” correctly or who can’t tell the difference between a Russian ship and an American ship. Republicans need to show their commitment to fiscal sanity by demanding sanity from ALL branches of government, including the military.

 
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July 3rd, 2015 by exurbankevin