A few handy tips for those waiting in line for glimpse of their messiah:
- There are plenty of palm trees throughout Mesa, so rather than stripping one or two trees bare, pick a few fronds from different trees to wave as Obama passes by.
- Make sure the cloak you throw down in front of the
donkeyPresidential limo isn’t dry-clean only.
- You can touch the hem of his garment, but don’t expect your daughter to be healed.
- Check with the Secret Service first before you and your friends open up a hole in the roof for better access.
- Make sure everyone else is fed before going for seconds from the five loaves and two fishes.
- Don’t worry about what others may say, and make sure you shout “Hosanna! Blessed is he who goes by the name of The One!” at the top of your lungs
- Or faint. That’s always good for 30 seconds of TV news.
And above all, forget about being polite or reasonable or any appearance of bi-partisanship, even though you’re smack dab in the middle of one of the reddest red states in the country. It’s your passion and unshakable belief in the Kwisatz Haderach that people admire, not your willingness to reach across boundaries and work together for the good of the country, because after all, until a month ago, the country wasn’t worthy of your support. YOU (and your messiah) are far, far more important than any one political entity, and it’s up to YOU to let people know that.
Stay crazy. Stay true to your beliefs. And make sure everyone knows about them, every chance you get. Ignore the polls that say you’re headed on the wrong track. Those people are wrong, and they must learn just HOW wrong they are at every opportunity.
Keep at it, and the Obama administration will have it’s proper place in history.
Right beside Jimmy Carter.