Quote of the Day, 7/31 Edition

“Here’s a tip for liberals: If your candidate is going to stage enormous rallies in front of tens of thousands of chanting Germans (with monuments to Prussian military might in the background) in the middle of his Presidential campaign, it isn’t the GOP’s fault if the footage comes out looking a little like Hitler at Nuremberg.”

Ross Douthat (Via The Corner)

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Fruit of the Boom!

As we reported last night, terrorists have invented “Suicide Underwear” to evade detection. From Pakistan’s Daily Times:

Would-be suicide bombers could be using explosives “underwear briefs” rather than explosives jackets to evade “conservative” body searches, sources said on Wednesday.

Sihala Police College forensic lab sources told Daily Times that the study of recent suicide attacks showed that suicide bombers used “explosives-laden” under-garments, briefs in particular, to carry out the attacks.

The sources said that the explosives could weigh between five
kilogrammes to seven kilogrammes, made deadly by adding glass
splinters, metal ball bearings and bullets.

The law enforcers normally
search upper body parts sparing the “privates”, the sources said, hence
assailants are increasingly using the lower body parts to dodge the
searches.

Also known as “the dangly bits.” Of course we remain impressed at the technical skills of these jihadi Edisons. However, for a proper product launch the terrorists need to settle on a solid brand name. From unflattering studio lighting on their YouTube videos to the mass murder of their target market, al Qaeda just has zero marketing sense. But ExLg is here to help!

Top 10 “Suicide Underwear” Brand Names
10. Fruit of the Boom
 9. Depends Underarmaments
 8. C4lvin Klein (H/T: Niblet)
 7. Akbar-bombie & Twitch
 6. Victoria’s Secret Weapon (H/T: Shiplord Kirel)
 5. Thunder Armour
 4. Nitropyserin
 3. Joe Bomber
 2. Kabloomers
And the Number one suicide underwear brand name is…
 1. Ignity Whities

Hey-O!

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Aw, crap.

Boston has traded Manny Ramirez… to the Dodgers. Ugh.

BTW, a few people have asked what happened to the Diamondbacks Magic Number Generator that used to be displayed in our sidebar. Unfortunately, it linked to an outside site for stats and that site had a lot of down time. And when it went down, many readers couldn’t load our site at all.

If you want an update, just bookmark this right here.

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Who’s the racist now?

The German magazine Spiegel (pronounced Shhhhhhh-::phlegm glob::-peagle) has run a revealing interview with The Lightworker.

Many blogs mocked a fawning pro-Obama article in which German journalist Judith Bonesky professed her, um… enthusiasm… for the Senator’s wares. Unlike Bill Clinton, Obama wasn’t going to take this heavy flirtation lying down.

“She hustled us,” he told New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd.

“We walk into the gym,” Obama told Dowd. “She’s already on the treadmill. She looks like just an ordinary German girl. She smiles and sort of waves, shyly, but doesn’t go out of her way to say anything. As I’m walking out, she says: ‘Oh, can I have a picture? I’m a big fan.’ Reggie takes the picture.” Reggie Love is Obama’s personal assistant.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. “Ordinary German girl,” Senator? Is that like your grandmother being a “typical white person”?
What exactly does an “ordinary German girl” look like? Let me guess, a blonde-braided bar wench spilling out of her lederhosen while sloshing around beer steins and listening to Kraftwerk?

Of course an “ordinary German girl” couldn’t possibly be a respected citizen of Turkish, African, or even Portuguese-Korean descent.
Instead, you find a trollop who conforms to your shallow, middle-class ethnic stereotypes and assume that all Germans must look just like her. Pathetic. I’ll have you know that my grandfather was German and he was a brunette just like his father, thank you very much.

Sen. Obama, sir, YOU are an intractable RACIST. German-Americans of every hair color deserve, nay, DEMAND a full and immediate apology!

(Wow, who knew playing the race card was so fun? I could get used to this.)

The article continues…

In his conversation with Dowd, Obama likened his experience in the Berlin gym with a scene from the movie “The Color of Money.”

“Do you remember ‘The Color of Money’ with Paul Newman?” Obama asked Dowd. “And Forest Whitaker is sort of sitting there, acting like he doesn’t know how to play pool. And then he hustles the hustler.”

A-ha! So you’re not only a racist, but a hustler too!

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Split decision

30% of conservative Democrats say they’ll for McCain.

Ok, so 30% of conservative Democrats comes out to about 4 actual people, (5, if Zell Miller remembers to take his meds), but if Obama loses this election, what are the chances of the moderate/conservative wing of the Democrats leaving the party altogether and forming a third party, making Glenn Greenwald’s vision of the Viet Cong Democrats into a vocal and highly ineffective minority on the American political scene?

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Wait, this can’t be right…

Jack Murtha’s doing the right thing when it comes to the military? Looks like we have another sign of the end times

Observers expected a fight with two possible outcomes: either Congress forces the DDG-1000s on the Navy, or caves to the Navy’s wish for more Burkes. In a surprise move yesterday, the House defense appropriations committee — headed by John Murtha of Pennsylvania — rejected both, and proposed a third plan, according to GovExec:
Instead of pumping money into destroyer production lines, the panel opted to boost other shipbuilding projects, including an additional $1.6 billion for an LPD-17 amphibious warfare ship, $941 million to buy two T-AKE auxiliary dry cargo dock carriers and $397.6 million for long-lead items for the Virginia class submarine program.

Actually, that does sound like a good idea. The Navy’s job is to make sure our stuff can move on the oceans and the other guy’s stuff gets sunk, and building transports and supporting the sub fleet would certainly accomplish that. The one change I’d make if I were Jack Murtha (now there’s a disgusting thought) is to add in something about replacing the Oliver Hazard Perry class frigates with the LCS or similar: The Navy urgently needs something that can take the fight all the way to the shoreline, (’cause the PC-1s just ain’t cuttin’ it), and the Littoral Combat Ship (or something like this) sure fits that bill, though we REALLY need to go over how those suckers are funded.

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Arrow Diamond Square Square Caret

Some more type geek humor.

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

The blacklist is the new black

Read the article that Jon linked to a couple of days ago before going on with this post.

Ok, are you done? No? Ok, I’ll wait.

Look, don’t  just pretend to look at it, go ahead and read it already! I’ll wait.

Ok, finished?

Good.

Now read this article on screenwriter Andrew Klavan and the perils of being a conservative in Hollywood (via Dirty Harry’s Place).The movie industry is becoming an echo chamber that reflects the insular nature of the art world in general: The people who make films are increasingly out of touch with the “common man”, and sometimes, proudly so. There’s a telling scene at the end of Robert Altman’s “The Player“, a great satire of Hollywood (the movie, of course, was loved by the same people it lampoons. Go figure.). At the end of The Player, the director of the movie-within-a-movie responds to the forced inclusion of a vapid ending into his magnum opus by declaring his original ending “didn”t play in Peoria”.

With that one line, Altman, (who once promised to leave the U.S. if Bush were re-elected in 2004, (He didn’t.)), is telling us that we, the audience, is the real reason movies are bad. If only we’d realize just how talented and gifted the people in Hollywood really are when they make movies like In The Valley of Elah and Redacted and Lions For Lambs, then things would be so much better. Instead, we bitter people in the red states cling to movies like “The Passion” and “The Chronicles of Narnia” and “The Dark Knight” and refuse to toe the Hollywood line.

Good movies do not require liberal politics. Frank Capra, John Ford and many others made outstanding movies that reflected the morals of the people in Peoria, not Beverly Hills, proving that it’s quite possible to build up patriotism and maintain artistic integrity. But in Hollywood right now, the people that believe in such things have to face the very real possibility that their careers will be over if they make a stand for what they believe in.

Good thing that sort of thing happens only in the movies.

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Dewey Defeats Truman, redux?

Advertising Age‘s Ken Wheaton provides an important reminder to his fellow Democrats in the media:

Barack Obama is not the president of the United States. This is a fact. Also a fact: There’s a chance he might not become the president of the United States. But for those of us working in the media and living in the bluest of blue sections of this country, that’s hard to remember. After all, eight out of 10 of your friends are voting for Obama. The ninth friend is a bitter Clinton holdout who’ll vote for Obama come election day. And the 10th guy is going to vote for Nader but is too embarrassed to tell you.

…I don’t want to be a downer, but I also don’t want you collapsing into a state of shock in the event of a McCain victory. Maybe you should have an oxygen bag on hand and a personal flotation device. I’m of the school of thought that the president usually isn’t as important as we think he is — especially when it comes to the economy. But I’m afraid that if Obama loses, I’ll wake up Wednesday morning to find that the major networks have forgotten to put stuff on the air. Marketers might call their agencies to find that no one’s shown up for work. New York and L.A. might actually come to a standstill.

If McCain pulls this thing out — and I think he will — prepare for the ugliest media hissy fit you have ever witnessed.

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude

Is that Semtex in your pocket or are you just unhappy to see me?

Pakistan’s Daily Times offers quite a news brief (get it?):

Terrorists develop ‘suicide underwear’

Would-be suicide bombers could be using explosives “underwear briefs” rather than explosives jackets to evade “conservative” body searches, sources said on Wednesday.

Sihala Police College forensic lab sources told Daily Times that the study of recent suicide attacks showed that suicide bombers used “explosives-laden” under-garments, briefs in particular, to carry out the attacks.

Just what the world needs — Fruit of the Boom. (oh, I got a million of ’em.)

How great would it be if these idiots channeled their creativity into inventing something useful? Maybe their backward provinces could finally export something besides goat urine and dirt clods.

UPDATE: In our post’s LGF comments, Shiplord Kirel calls the underwear “Victoria’s Secret Weapon” while ExLg reader Niblet sent me the following Photoshop…

It’s gotta suck to be a jihadi. Every time you try to instill fear, you only get laughter.

 
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July 31st, 2008 by admindude